Chicago, Baby

Landed in Chicago, safe and sound. I would like to thank God, not only for the safe flight, but also for our 4 yr old being absolutely content through the entire flight. Yes, success! 
They say it’s 48 degrees here. Um…I’m a southern girl and that a bit COLD! Yesterday it was 80 at home. Whining will commensurate shortly, and I’m sure my kids will join me. 😉
I did get to write some poetry on the flight. Still pretty basic stuff, but I’m coming along. I’ll share that with y’all later.
Thank you to the nice pilot sitting next to me for snapping this shot.
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Chicago Bound

Made it to the airport,  but not without a few frazzled nerves. Why must car service drivers drive like they are in the Indy 500? He rarely used his turn signal and stopped at the very last second, when cars were stopped in front of us. However, Pre-TSA is wonderdul! Left our shoes on, didn’t have to remove my computer, and walked right through. Well, that was until my son’s bag looked suspicious. *mom silently prays that he didn’t pack his air soft gun* No worries folks, just an old bottle of shampoo in a side pocket that he forgot about. *mom silently thanks God and let’s out a quiet sigh of relief*

And now….we wait. 10 minutes until we board. Chicago here we come!

Heading Up North

Today has been a huge day of preparations, and it’s not over yet. I thought I would take a MUCH NEEDED break and tell y’all what I’m up to.

First thing in the morning, me and my 3 kiddos are jumping on a plane and heading to Chicago! We are so excited, and the 4 yr old doesn’t know where we are going, which makes it even more fun. My niece turned 6 last week and my mom is flying us up to surprise her. Unfortunately, my sweet husband can’t get off of work so he will stay home with his mom because, well, she’s not invited. I know that sounds terrible, but this is supposed to be a happy, fun weekend! As I’m preparing; doing laundry, finishing up some work, packing, running to the store for last minute items; I am reminded of why I need to get away. It is so difficult to handle my anxiety when one of the main triggers lives in my house. It saddens me because I want to bless her and make her feel at home, but she refuses to be happy. Honestly, she REFUSES. So this quick trip, back to my home state, is very much needed.

These next 4 days will be a time for me to refresh myself and relax my mind. I have a 3 hour flight, which if all goes as planned (enough activities to keep the little one occupied), I will have time to think and write. But right now, I’m still at home counting the hours until we leave. My 2 oldest decided they would wait until TODAY to clean there rooms. My daughter started her closet at around 10 AM. It is now 5 PM. Do you know where she is? YEP, IN HER CLOSET!!! That is how bad it was. I kid you not! And another great thing about her cleaning her room…everything she is done with and no longer wants, is lovingly placed in the game room that I cleaned. Why? Why does that seem like the logical place to put unwanted items? UGH! The used to put it in the little one’s closet, until I put the kabosh on that one.

I’m also very excited to see my dad. He doesn’t know me and the kiddos will be there and he flies in a few hours after us. I haven’t seen my dad in several months and miss him dearly. He’s ALWAYS good for a laugh and a lot of sarcasm, and of course you add that to my brother, who is a duplicate personality as my father (but don’t tell him that), and you have one rip-roaring, obnoxious, and annoying weekend. I can not wait!

Of course I’m taking all of you with me, but don’t expect deep dish pizza and beer. I grew up on that and now really don’t care for it. However, you can expect some fun photos of me making a birthday cake for my niece in the shape of a crown. This should bring a few laughs.

My hubby came home from work early and is now playing pet shops with the little one. I better go hang out with them for a bit and finish packing. 5 AM will be here before I know it.

What A Great Monday

As many of you may be with me on this, I don’t particularly enjoy Mondays. I usually have an abundance of emails to attend to and my kids have a harder time getting back in the groove of their studies and I simply want a third day in the weekend. I mean think about it; Saturday I need to catch up on laundry and housework, take the little one to dance, clean up my office from the week, etc. Then Sunday rolls around and we host fellowship in our home, so we need to do final preps before everyone comes, if I’m teaching; I need to do one more quick run through, then my husband and I may have an afternoon meeting, then we get ready for the week. I need Monday, to rest from the weekend.

Today was different though. Today, my husband took the day off. We talked over the weekend about what we wanted to do that would be fun for all of the kids and not cost anything. So we came up with a plan and set out this morning for downtown. When we arrived at our first destination, we all piled out of the truck and headed for the front door. “Gallery is Closed”, read the sign on the door. Well, that would have been good information to put on their website. Art museum – fail! Next: amazing, privately owned park; complete with fountains and splash pads. The park was beautiful, however, it was overcast and I wouldn’t let the little one in the water, but we walked around, took pictures, ate lunch at a picnic table and had a great time.

Next, a plaza in the middle of downtown. No grass, but a stage and a huge open area to run and be silly. It was actually a fun 10 minutes. Then we went looking for the underground shopping. We have lived here 5 years and have never been. So, why not? We arrive and it’s like the Apocalypse occurred and we were in a weird futuristic tunnel system, complete with food court. Not much shopping, but I think you could get to different parts of the city through it. It was kind of cool, and I can say now, that I’ve been there.

All in all, it was a great day. All 3 kiddos had a blast, even with the Art Museum being closed. It made me thankful for many things that I take for granted. I get to work from home, which allows me to set my own schedule and work around my family. (So thankful for that) I homeschool our kids. This allows us to pack a lunch on the spur of the moment and go play downtown for a few hours. What did they learn today? They learned how important it is to spend time together as a family and enjoy one another. We also looked at the art sculptures around town and each of us explained what we saw. This said a lot about my son. LOL The greatest thing I got out of today, was the fact that I did NOT have an anxiety attack because we strayed off of my routine. I did my work this evening instead, and I was completely okay with it. (Not one ounce of anxiety) That is huge progress and I am so thankful for that!

So….4 hours downtown cost: $0.00, Value: Priceless

Plaza

 

How to Live More Than One Life

Very thought provoking. Books are a necessity for me.

Sharing Pieces of Wisdom

Just a few years ago, entertainment lived in books. People read–a lot. Today, people use social media and the internet for entertainment. Many only read to study. It is no wonder that many of us dislike books. It’s like a chore, a duty. Many do not read for entertainment. A few days ago, my class had a random discussion on books. I listened to many opinions from my classmates about experience. To my surprised, everyone that spoke up to the teacher did not support books. Students claimed that knowledge and wisdom can only be truly gained through experience alone. Experience is key to wisdom, they say. But is that true? They claimed that books gives an opinion of someone else and that books cannot truly give them the full experience as encountering it. Books can also be bias. They gave examples of books describing nature versus people actually experiencing nature. Their arguments are…

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My Therapy: I’m So Judgmental

Will there ever be a time when I don’t question every thought I have? Will this be something I deal with for the rest of my life? Will I ever get to the point where I can just accept myself as me, and be okay with that? Why is my first reaction to judge myself? I highly doubt others are judging me as often as I feel judged. Why am I so judgmental?

I ask these questions of myself all the time. I react to situations as if I’m under attack, when in reality; it has nothing to do with me. Many times I feel that my own mind is my worst enemy. I feel that I could control my anxiety, my depression, and my outbursts just by not being so judgmental. The funny thing is…no one is judging me. (At least I don’t think so…)

I say that I feel that I’m being judged in certain situations, but the truth is, I’m the one that’s doing the judging. I’m the one making myself feel inadequate. I’m the one pointing out my flaws and telling myself I’m not as good as someone else. No one has ever pointed out my flaws (at least to my face). Except that one time, but that woman was mean and horribly awful! Once I stopped crying, I realized she was purposing trying to be hurtful. She was a complete stranger, what did I care what she thought? But I did, I do care (way too much) what other people think. That’s one of the reasons I took so long to start writing again. What if I sucked? What if no one enjoyed what I wrote? What if? What if? What if? Ugh! The “what ifs” are so exhausting and hindering. “What if’s can paralyze us mentally, spiritually, and physically.

I tell myself I’m not going to think this way any longer. I try to change my thoughts when those negative ones creep in, but sometimes they seem to always linger in the depths of my mind. They slowly creep out when I least expect it, slowly making their way to the front of my mind where they think they have control. It’s tiring to need validation all the time. I don’t want so much confidence that I am no longer humble, but just enough that I can stop judging myself, comparing myself to others.  I actually have had the thought that the other baseball moms wouldn’t want to hang out with me because I wasn’t as thin and cute as them! How ridiculous is that?!?!?! Stupid right? But those thoughts creep in. They are the nicest ladies I have ever met, but I get so intimidated. I just want to love me, for me. I’m a pretty cool person, why can’t I accept that others might think so too?