I want to do a quick blog before I call it a night, but what about today is worthy of writing about? Do you really want to read about how I only had a couple hours available to work, or how I left the house at 12:30 PM and returned after 9 PM and hadn’t had time for a real meal. How about a quick story of how, before my therapy appointment, I bleached and colored my daughter’s hair purple? Remember I had to leave the house by 12:30, so I had to squeeze that one in on the fly. I felt like a Rockstar! A mom that had her schedule down and got it done! That NEVER happens!! This was a first, and to be honest, I am exhausted! I generally don’t have it together, and I am learning that, that is okay. Did you catch I had a therapy appointment? I wasn’t sure I was going to mention that, but what the hell? It’s life. I need help learning how to be patient with myself, and controlling my OCD tendencies.
You see, I feel the need to control everything in my life. I have a lot on my plate, like most parents, but I tend to feel that I need to be GREAT at everything. Realistically, that is not possible, and I know that. However…..as I have mentioned before, part of my brain is not agreeing with that logic. It thinks on a whole other level, the unrealistic level. Today, I went to my appointment feeling like I had everything in control and was doing well, but after describing my day to day activities out loud, I realized that I don’t give myself permission to slack off, to have down time, or do things I enjoy. I had no idea I was so restrictive. I was kind of shocked to “see” this for the first time. I cancel coffee dates and find excuses not to go to playdates. When I explained my reasoning, it sounded foolish to my ears. I thought those things weren’t productive. I needed to spend my time doing more productive things. ie. laundry, cooking, cleaning, change the fish bowl, work…. (You get the picture) My very patient therapist reminded me that “play” is very productive. It’s something we NEED, and I should make time daily for something I enjoy. The problem…while I’m doing those things, I’m thinking about the other productive things I should be doing. LOL One definition of productive is: yielding results, benefits, or profits. I’ll tell you what doing something you enjoy (playing) results in; a happy, relax mommy/daddy, spouse, friend. We will be better for ourselves AND for others when we are blessed NOT stressed.
I am so thankful that I get to live this amazing life, I just wish that I would stop to enjoy it. So my words of wisdom…take a breath, do something for yourself, and relax. Take You deserve it, and your family deserves the best you.
Until next time…Ciao Loves!